My Next Life

I just figured out what I want to be in my next life - a homeless person in Chico. The Jesus Center will provide me with free meals and showers. The Torres Shelter will give me free housing 6 out 12 months and now I heard Andy Holcombe and the Greater Chico Homeless Task Force want to establish a homeless campground. I understand that, without regard to Supervisor Jane Dolan's opposition due to agricultural zoning, Robert Seals of the Serenity Center has posted his Universal Life Church community center sign on the corner of McIntosh and Dayton Roads and has set up homeless squatting grounds on his leased land. I'm sure he has taken into consideration the concerns of 200-plus households in that neighborhood.

For entertainment, I can spend my days hanging out in Children's Playground scaring kids away. Afterwards, I can wander over to Ringel Park and make lewd comments to high school and college girls. For lunch, with the money I've solicited from the generous Chicoans, I can head over to 7-11 for some adult beverages. Of course if I've enjoyed too much of my "lunch", I won't be able to use the Jesus Center, the Torres Center, or any homeless campground because of their rules about being intoxicated. But no matter, I can get a bath in the "dancing fish" tub at City Hall or a shower at the fountain in the City Plaza.

Chico is such an inviting place for the homeless. When they establish the homeless camp, I'll invite homeless from all over the country to Chico.

Okay, I understand this is all very sarcastic and cynical but this is actually how some of the homeless in Chico spend their days. Did anyone notice the photo from the front page of October 18, 2006's Chico Enterprise-Record depicting several homeless people (with their lunch sack) in Children's Park. The Halloween theme of giving back Halloween to the children should also apply here. Give Children's Playground back the children, Community Park back to the community, etc.

Establishing a homeless camp in Chico does not solve the problem - it will only serve to make it a larger problem.